The forecast is wall-to-wall rain, the kids are on their last legs and you’ve run out of steam too. And then the email pops into your inbox announcing ‘SPORTS DAY 2018!’.
Your finger twitches dangerously over the delete button. Can I get out of it this year? you wonder. But then you imagine the crestfallen faces of your little angels, sobbing WHY WEREN’T YOU THERE, MUMMY? And so, there’s only one thing to do.
BEANO SPORTS DAY BINGO!
See how many of the following you can tick off as you
endure enjoy far too many hours of fun with kids, teachers and fellow parents. It’s about the taking part, after all 😉
Everyone knows him: he does the school run in Lycra and those special clippy bike shoes, you’ve been asked to sponsor his Iron Man triathlon and he’s not as fit as he thinks he is. Not in the way we mean, anyway.
Extra points? Sporty Dad arrives in sportswear
Social Secretary Mum
She’s the one at the heart of every committee. Don’t get too close or before you know it you’ll be signed up to man the hot dog stall at the school fete.
Extra points? One point every time Social Secretary Mum mentions the PTA
Shades? Check. Reusable coffee takeout cup? Check. Arrives late? Check. Coffee Mum is that disorganised, sleep deprived straggler who doesn’t seem responsible enough to have children of her own.
Extra points? You ARE Coffee Mum
He’ll be wearing some kind of Fairtrade bamboo tee and sandals. His kids are named Gandhi and Rainbow. He’s still banging on about Trump and Brexit. You know to leg it in the other direction when he’s wielding a clipboard in the playground.
Extra points? His competitive side breaks free during the egg-and-spoon and he screams at Rainbow to ‘destroy Amelia!!!’
Faux Modest Mum
‘Oh no, I couldn’t possibly take part in the mum’s race!’ she says. But you know full well she’s training for a 100k or something, and before you know it she’s slipping off the Birkenstocks and leaving the rest of the parents in her barefooted wake.
Extra points? FMM’s keys and phone fall out on the grass and she doesn’t blink or break her stride
Arrives late and hastily removes his tie and jacket, to the relieved looks of his offspring. Spends the entire time checking emails and looking at his watch. Legs off before the end when he thinks the kids aren’t looking.
Extra points? Office Dad asks you to film the final race on your phone and email it to him
Full house! How did you do?
Want more competitive parenting? Have a watch of our Beano Sports Day Mum video!